A STUDY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HELP

                        A STUDY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HELP

AIM : To understand what is help.

OBJECTIVES:

1. To know why did I receive/give help from/to others?

2. To understand was helping fruitful?

3. To find out was there any perceived change in the behaviour of the person who had received help?

4. To know was there any change in the behavior of the person who had helped?

5. To understand memorable characteristic(s) of the situation and persons involved.

6. To identify that what is the difference/similarity between the two situations from counselling perspective (if applicable).

7. To reflect upon what counselling skills were used in the two helping situations (if applicable).

8. To reflect upon the qualities of the persons involved in relation to therapist-client relationship.

 

METHOD

Material Required: Pen and paper.  

Procedure:

For this reflection, I have recalled two incidents. First incident has to be one in which I helped someone known to me and in the second incident I recalled when I had received help from someone known to me. Then tried to meet the objectives through interpretations and analysis

 

A. Description of the first incident:

Help means to do something for somebody in order to be useful or to make something easier for another person. Brother in law’s wife of my cousin sister showed some unusual behavior like consuming alcohol, self-harming behaviour and quarrelsome activities. Her family wants to divorce her as soon as possible. Her two daughters already sent their maternal uncle’s home. They are total unaware about psychological disorders and they don’t know it can cure by treatment. Due to social stigma they don’t want to visit psychiatrist or any mental health clinic. I met that couple I family occasion and discussed about this, after that repeatedly met them 4 times. Took case history and mental status examination was done as I had learned. Then convinced them to visit psychiatrist’s clinic. Both were counseled and given medicines by psychiatrist and now they are living happily in the same family. This is the help I had done to that family.

 

Interpretations:

When peoples are suffering from any crisis they feel directionless. Any fruitful advice and support may help them to choose the right direction to solve the problem or overcome the crisis situation. In that dysfunctional family they are almost ready for divorce.  But divorce was not good for them and solution for their problem. After divorce that lady may suffer intense depression and may be choose the path of suicide. After taking treatment and counseling now they at least understand the fact and cause of that situation and they start to understand each other. If relapse can be prevented then she may be cure totally and could be living the life happily.

 

 

Analysis

Such situation may be arises due to misunderstanding. The lady was very helpful and cordial before suffering from mental illness. She started to suspect her husband for illicit relationship with another woman. Financial conditions of them are also not good. Her husband spent hard earned money on that another woman. While she opposed him, he tortured her mentally. She starts to suffer anxiety first and untreated anxiety and continuous exposure to that environment created her depression. As symptom of full blown depression she showed self-harming, aggression, consumption of alcohol etc. But no one wants to understand her mental status. My little help make them understood about the mental health and behavioural disorders.  

 

Findings:

- Helping others to survive or to come out from the situation give some mental satisfaction.

 

- I was seen result of my help to that couple. Presently they are staying peacefully in one family. Therefore, it can be said that the helping was fruitful.

 

- Firstly husband’s behavior and attitudes towards me was not good. Even other relative of that family was not accepted my advice. But one person of their relative accepted my advice and took them to the psychiatrist. People appreciate the result not the procedure. Hence after getting some positive results their attitude and behavior were changed.

 

- Memorable characteristics of that incident was that the patient was becoming emotional with full of tears when situations going towards normal. She told me that you have done more than my own brother. Her husband also seems thankful to me.

 

B. Description of the second incident

My father got brain stroke during lock down period for the prevention of COVID 19 and hospitalized for 20 days. It was very difficult to look after him for all 20 days by me alone. No relative wants to come and help me during that pandemic situation. Only my cousin’s son i.e my nephew helped me physically in that situation. We both attended my father alternately.

 

Interpretations:

I approached almost all relative to help me in that situation. Even my father’s own grandson denied coming to hospital by showing excuses of COVID-19. But that nephew helped me without any expectations only morals. He told that if human not works for human in need then where is humanity. Animals are also helps each other in need. We are human; we should have some better understanding capacity of situations than animals. So we should help each other.

 

Analysis

        If we have hundreds of relative and friends and on need no one stands with us then what can we do? Expectations hurt always; but that was not only expectation. That was not only expectation, but moral duties of the relatives. Nephew’s help at that situation is unforgettable to me forever. Now a day’s relative also searching for profit in relationship. I was become emotional in that situation but not disclose anyone.  

 

Findings:

- He gave me help due to morals and human ethics not for any expectations or compulsion.

- That help was very fruitful for me. Without his help it was very tough to me to attend my father in hospital for long 20days. I was managing money, home and patient alone.

- Previously my behaviours towards nephew were like a senior man but after that help I understood his thoughts and believes and my attitude and behavior changed to friendship.

 

-  After helping me my nephew also feels very happy and satisfied. He was motivated to help more human being in need. That was his first work as patient’s attendant. His concept towards patient and their attendant was changed. He started to saw everybody empathetically.

 

- My father also very happy to see that grandson after recovery. He spent one full night outside of the ICU gate standing and sitting on the stair to help me. That made me emotional to him.

 

C. Reflections :

i) Expectations from the Tasks:  As per expectations evaluated the two incidents recalled from the memory and seen my thought towards both of the incidents of giving helps and receiving help. Both were improving my thought process and humanity. For human development I think help has an unavoidable role.

 

ii) Level of Difficulty: It was not so difficult to recall that incidents but some time became more emotional due to expectations from the relatives. Emotion makes easy things difficult.

 

iii) Learning: Human development could not judge by the relation or money; it could be only by thought process, believe system and actions.

 

iv) Relating with Theoretical Concepts: The simple interpretation of social exchange framework is 'Mutual help' for the peaceful survival and it is the first aspect of human life. Second aspect is that life is too complex to lead all alone. Both of the incidents could be relate with this theory of human development.

 

v) Submission of the Reflection:

·         Difference between both the cases were , in first case there was a need of mental health awareness and in second case there is need of physical presence of a trusted person. Similarities between both the cases were; all were involved with emotions and helped in extreme need.

·         In first case there was need of counseling skill likes case history taking, mental status examination and cognitive behavioural therapy. But in second situation does not required any counseling skills.

·         The qualities of the persons involved in relation to therapist-client relationship in the first situation were not so good. Because they were totally unaware about mental health, counsellig and family therapist etc. In second situation I analyzed my thought process after getting help. I found very grateful myself towards the helping person.

 

Conclusion:

Both the situation leaded by help. And we should keep in mind that whatever we did as a help it comes to us in need. We should not help for any expectation; even for the return help. Through these two task of this practical achieved the aim and objectives by the instructed procedure. It really helped us to understand what help is. It will help me to create a more confident helping nature and it will help  me in the counseling and family therapy sessions.