Understanding of Misunderstandings

 Understanding of Misunderstandings

 Our relationship always depends on understandings only. But do you know what is understanding in true sense? Do you know that your believe on understanding is always right ?

In dictionary meaning understanding is the knowledge that somebody has of a particular subject or situation. On other words an informal agreement.

But practically understanding is a capacity of vision to look the things exactly how and what it is! An understanding develops by information, knowledge and wisdom.

Information is stimuli that have meaning in some context for its receiver. Simply Information is facts provided or learned about something or someone.

The knowledge is facts, information, and skills acquired through experience or education; the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject. It is awareness or familiarity gained by experience of a fact or situation.

The wisdom is the body of knowledge and experience that develops within a specified society or period.

If understand builds by information, knowledge and wisdom then definitely misunderstands develops from deviation of it. If anyone has misinformation about facts and false experience on it then arises misunderstand.

Whenever anybody got misunderstand he/she stopped talking to each other. This type of behaviour arises only for ego defence of mind. The want to keep safe their believe and thoughts; whatever it is true or false.  Actually, if there is a misunderstanding with someone they should talk to each other clearly to solve the problem. It happens only by problem solving attitude. Otherwise stop talking makes the problem more worsen.

Suicide Why ?

 Why these Suicides are ? 

                Everyday we heard the bad news of mankind or the nature ! But still hoping for our survival. Some of us has self destructing behaviour and some has suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts not comes suddenly. It show many of the symptoms but we take it easily. In our body and mind we have defense system to protect us. In some situations body immunity plays reverse role (i.e. cytokine storm), then we may die physically for this. Like body immunity, for mental defense system of mind we may follow the denial, escaping etc. behaviours. Due to this behaviours one may decide to escape from relationships or from this world. 

            Before this decision he/she may suffer from sleeplessness, isolation, anxiety, depression etc. psychological detoriation/behavioural problem. Untreated behavioural problem or unorganized thought process disturbs the neuro-transmitters of brain and then they could not decided what is right and wrong. Then one may follow the self destructing behaviours like suicide, fratricide etc. 

                    If counselling and treatment followed initially by such person then they may get rid from such untoward situations like suicides. But people would not like to come to psychologist/psychiatrist initially due to social stigma and sustainability. 

                     People know that if fever comes, it may be the symptoms of some fetal disease. This fever may kill them, therefore, they rush immediately for medical attention. But Psychological problem may be sustained by people for some time, they thought that it will not taken their life. This concept is wrong. Behavioural problem may also leads family destruction, unhappiness and ultimate death by any means like suicide, accident etc. Psychological problems are as important as the physical problem like fever. Only  consciousness on it is very important. Counselling and treatment for  any behavioural deviation is most important to live a happy life. 

Weight Loss Psychology

Weight Loss Psychology

                    Why weight loss is important for healthy life (?), we all knows about it ! To maintain BMI(Body Mass Index)  and avoid diseases like diabetes, heart problem, joint problem, weight management plays important role. Almost all decided or thinks about regular exercise but it is not possible to keep continue for all. Again we all knows that cause behind it is living within Comfort Zone. Living in Comfort Zone depends on thoughts/Psychology.  

                    There are two basic factor of weight loss, less eating and more exercise, i.e. less gain more loss. Eating is essential to live, but most of us eat for amusement/entertainment only. Our monkey mind always pull us towards comfort and amusements/entertainments. If we can divert our mind to know the exact reality of life then we can control it. Everything is not true whatever our eyes seen or think our mind. The reality behind the  scene may be different. To know the exact reality i.e. what to do, we need to activate our consciousness. 

                       For this activation of consciousness we need to follow yoga and meditations. To form habit we must control our monkey mind and consciousness only can control our monkey mind. If we can control our monkey mind then the goal of weight loss also may not be diverted. We can continuously work on it to achieve the aim and objectives at stipulated time. 

Have you ever seen GOD?

 Have you ever seen the God?

                 If you never seen God, how can you believe in God ? This is a foolish question I think. Yet we should aware on this. Because God is a believe not a subject to understand! If we really want to see or meet the god, we should surrender us to GOD. Then we should know "who am I?", then only you can feel the presence of GOD. If you have ever read Narayana Kawash, Hanuman Chalisha and different Charita, you can understand the characteristics of God. For example, Sarbagunakar( all goodness)  , dayashil ( Kind), equal to all etc. are characteristics of God, we can understand through the religious books. Notice, what substance of this Universe posses all these characteristics. I think the substances of nature possesses all these characteristics of god, i.e.  Panchabhut. Fire, Earth, Air, Water and Sky possesses all the characteristics of God. We are made of all these substances. Therefore, it is said that God is  present in everywhere.

                    The understanding of similarities between Universe and our body help  to feel the presence of GOD. If god is present in Panchabhut then we can say that nature is only the visible shape of GOD. Therefore, whenever we distort the nature, calamities comes as reflection, because God said to follow only one formulae to this Universe that result depends on your works only. So, if you want to meet the GOD, love the nature and not to do against  the nature. Problems for the mankind generated by us only and blaming to GOD for the disasters. Preserve the nature and mankind GOD will happy and bless us always. 

                    Our unnatural thoughts and activities works against the rules of nature and it makes us unhappy always. Therefore be the lover of this nature and understand the bhakti to get the bless of GOD.  

Alcohol Addiction Treatment

 Alcohol Addiction Treatment 

       In present world, alcohol is one of the most usable chemical, I think. Everywhere we found alcohol; in sanitizer, vehicle fuel, medicines etc. As well as it is using in society irrespective of gender, age, situation, socio-economic status etc. It is making addicted most of the people in the world ; especially  in India. 

        All of us are familial with alcohol addiction. From each relation at least one person had died due to alcohol addiction. When first starts to take alcohol, it is only uses for fashion or to satisfy emotions. Afterward, it changed neuro transmitter of people and changed the thoughts and behaviours. Thoughts and behaviour is hindrance to recovery from alcohol addiction . Thus, person falls in addiction and does not successfully work the treatment for alcohol addiction. 

    For the successful treatment of alcohol addiction we can use Pharmacotherapy and Psychotherapy. In combination of both success rate may be very high. It is a time taking process. The treatment phase may be divided in three parts.

1) Initial Phase is 2 to 4 weeks

2) Middle Phase is  3 to 6 months

3) Late Phase is  more than  6 months

The Goals of Pharmacotherapy  and Psychotherapy treatment are-

A. Reversal of acute effects (intoxication and overdose),

B. Amelioration of withdrawal symptoms,

C. Decline of craving,

D. Prevention of relapse

E.  Restoration of normal physiological functions.( Coping Skill) 

    During Relapse prevention Counsellor and Psychotherapist trained certain skill to patients. The training includes 

i. Behavioural rehearsal (what to do in a party?), 

ii. Assertiveness training (how to say ‘no’ to a friend) 

iii. Change in ways of thinking (relapse means need to come back to treatment and not to despair)

iv. Lifestyle interventions (relaxation and physical exercises).

    Clients are taught to recognize early warning signals and made aware of apparently irrelevant decisions that can increase the possibility of relapse. Emphasis is placed on the modification of faulty beliefs or dysfunctional assumptions. All throughout the client is encouraged to practice these strategies using rehearsal, role-play and homework tasks. 

      This is only glimpse on alcohol addiction treatment. Without psychotherapy alcohol addiction treatment could not be  successful. Appropriate Psychological intervention can prevent the relapses of alcohol addiction.

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- You can contact me for free counselling through the email

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Extra Marital affair and My counselling Experience

            How counseled the rivalry of extramarital affair.

 One of my special clients contacted me. She told that her happiness was totally lost and life was exhausted. She was found self-irritated and very angry. 

            Every human is different, so no any theory would be worked in same pattern. When I talked to the client, I was decided to recognize the pattern of the client and the peoples connected with her first. Then good rapport building was next step, so that she can share everything clearly.

1st Session.

After rapport building, Case history taking and recording in laptop or notebook is the first step of counselling. In first Session, I took case history. During taking case history tried to reach the actual problem of client. But that was only on her point of view. I was filtered the data as per my requirements. Dogged more and more through open ended questions and closed ended questions. 

Findings of the First Session: Client's husband has extramarital affairs with her friend. It was confirmed. 

2nd Session.

 During second session I tried to examine the mental status of the client. I had found her mood swing and high emotion of anger. For the good rapport she told me almost everything.

Findings of the Second Session: Client's has hypothyroidism, which leads the mood swing. She is already under medication and I advised to consult with physician for dose adjustment of medicine.

3rd Session

In third session we set the goal to uncovering the unconsciousness, finding meaning in life, Curing an Emotional Disturbance, Examining old decision and making new ones, Developing trust in oneself, and Reducing maladaptive behaviour and learning adaptive pattern.

4th Session 

Fourth session’s Objectives includes the work to achieve the set goals. We decided the objectives one by one and determined the required time to complete the objectives.

5th Session 

In fifth session rectified the procedure towards the objective, which was followed by the client. Counsellor not gives any advice, but kust guide and helps by certain psychological procedure to achieve the goal through objectives  and the psychological procedure.

6 the Session

During sixth session tested the improvements of husband wife’s relations and about the extramarital affair of client’s husband. Shifted her main focus to her life and happiness from the affair. Her cognition and beliefs has been changed.

7th Session

In 7^th session given some assignments to read some books and exercise. She confirms her feeling better and her happiness attracted her husband again. If you are not happy you could not make anybody happy.

8th Session

In 8^th session guided the client towards more improvement in her behaviour and emotions. Found error in her emotions. As a lady client correction of emotion was not so easy. But anyhow  she managed it.

9th Session 

During 9^th session she informed the good news gifting a car to her by husband.  We were discussed about what she learnt from the sessions and what to be continue life-long. She promised to follow every steps learned in counselling

10th Session 

In 10^th session we discussed about my transference and her counter transference. Now it is time to detachment of counsellor and client. So that client can live independently.

Thus,  my counselling session was ended. I had used feminist approach and CBT approach to help the client.

 

Goals of Counselling and Family Therapy

 Goals of Counselling and Family Therapy

Every therapy has a goal. Physiotherapy has certain goal to achieve in a stipulated time through certain procedure of exercises. Similarly pharmacotherapy has certain goal to cure the disease with certain doses of medicines. Thus family therapy or psychotherapy has some goal to heal the mental pain, to improve relationship, to bring the happiness in life etc. Now I want to analyze the therapeutic goal used in practice of Counselling and Family Therapy.

1. Restructuring the personality: Personality can be defined as the act done anyone for a purpose, which should not disturb any other’s work or life. If our belief systems are not well arranged, as socially accepted then, our acts may be distorted or socially not accepted too. It may lead disturbances in relationships as well as workability. The Counselling and Psychotherapy can restructure the personality.

2. Uncovering the Unconsciousness: Many people do not know about their consciousness. But they thought that their every decision is perfect. People could not see any problem as it is in reality. Only they have taken a decision on the beliefs. Through the counselling and family therapy uncovered the unconsciousness. Then they can understand how progress with consciousness.

3. Creating Social Interest: If a person isolated himself due to false cognitions and depression then therapy may create social interest. Due to lack of social interest people may go under depression and feels very lonely.

4. Finding Meaning in Life: Without purpose life is like a rather less boat. Purpose may lead the life happily and successfully. If one could not find the meaning of life, he/she may be wonder in a cyclone of situation. In that case counselling and psychotherapy may help in finding of meaning in life. For example, the addicted person lost their meaning of life, therefore they lives their life purposelessly.

5. Curing an Emotional Disturbance: Relationship problem like separation, divorce, parental relation, in laws relations, parent-child relation etc. creates emotional disturbances. Emotional disturbances always decrease the workability, reduce interests and increase anger. Counselling and family therapy cures emotional disturbances through the psychological procedures.  

6. Examining old decision and making new ones: Today’s decision makes tomorrow’s happiness. If anyone unhappy due to his/her previous decisions, then counsellor may identify such decision by examining that and help the client in making new decision, which may help to get the happiness.  

7. Developing trust in oneself: Who is not trust in oneself; he/she may lose their confidence. Psychotherapist sets the goal to develop trust in oneself by certain psychological procedure like Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy/Cognitive behaviour therapy.

8. Becoming more self-actualization: Self-actualization is very important to understand life as real as it is. If we understand the reality our decision will be more accurate/correct. That’s why becoming more self –actualization is another goal of psychotherapy.

9. Reducing maladaptive behaviour and learning adaptive pattern: Distorted behaviour changed the emotion towards unusual sign like anger, sadness etc. Such emotions may change the cognitions. Again cognitions change the behaviour. If the mal adaptive behaviour could not reduce then new pattern of behaviour could not be adapted. Psychotherapy may reduce the maladaptive behaviour and helped in learning adaptive pattern.

10. Becoming grounded in the present moment: Past can’t change and future is not seen. But future depends on the work doing in present moment. Lots of people spent their time by wondering in past and future. Thought of past can give us depression and thoughts of future can give us anxiety. The only enjoying present moment can give us the actual happiness. The psychotherapy may help the people to becoming grounded in the present moment.   

11. Managing intense emotions such as anxiety: Peoples are afraid for the darkness and lack of knowledge is actual darkness. The future thoughts and lack of darkness may create anxiety. The psychotherapy set the goal to manage the intense emotion and this would manage the cognigence to reduce the anxiety.  

12. Gaining more effective control of one’s life: Disciplines and control of life gives the true sense of happiness. But, in present society self-control for discipline is taken as burden of understanding. Therefore, psychotherapy helps to gain more effective control of one’s life.   

13. Re-authoring the story of one’s life: Counselling and psychotherapy set the goal to re-authoring the story of one’s life. Whoever is unhappy for his/her life story counselling and psychotherapy may act the life changing role. It inspires to live the life with a new thought process.

Thus, counselling and psychotherapy helps the people in need by achieving such goal through proven psychological theory and practices.