Analyzing Different Forms of Families
After undertaking this Practicum
activity, we will be able to:
Understand the different types of family
existing in the society;
Get in depth understanding of the
selected family types;
Differentiate between the needs of
various members along with their roles and relationships; and
Appreciate the importance of having
knowledge of family structures and their varied characteristics for practicing
family therapy.
(a) Materials
Required: Interview
schedule, pen, paper, tape recorder.
(b) Procedure:
Selected
Family for Group -1
I have selected a migrated nuclear family for
Group I, from our society in Guwahati city. The respondent was a house wife living
in a flat along with her husband and two daughters. I contacted her over phone
as we are living in the same building of our society and fixed up a convenient
time for the interview telephonically. The lady, Mrs. Baruah gave me the Sunday
afternoon time i.e. (as she is free
having completed the household works). I called her at the decided time. At first I made her comfortable by taking
about spreading of dangerous COVID-19, then about children and about lockdown
depression. Then I told her about the importance and use of my course and practical
in present scenario of society. I convinced her on the confidentiality of
information. It established a good rapport with her. Then we were starting the
formal interview. I got important information during the interview and I was noted
it down in my diary.
Name of the respondent : Mrs. Baruah
Age: 39 years
Sex: F (female)
Family Income: Rs. 60,000/- (per month)
Type of Family: Urban Nuclear Family (
Migrated from a village)
Number of family members: Four (including
Mrs. Baruah)
Their age and relationship to the
respondent :
Mr. Baruah – 46 years old – husband of the respondent
Smt. M. Baruah – 15 years old –
Daughter of respondent
Smt.
S. Baruh – 08 Years old – Daughter of respondent.
1) With reference to each
family member, and yourself, list at least two personal-emotional a nd
physical-material needs.
--
Mrs. Baruah’s response : My parents in law staying in their own home in village
which is about 100 kms away from Guwahati City. They want to keep us along with
them. When we approached them to come with us they always denied by saying that
they don’t like the lifestyle of Cities.
My father in law is a pensioner. Yet
they want money from us to fulfill their desires. They does not want to
understand that how costlier the living in a metro city. My husband’s income is
not so much that we can afford needs of two families.
My daughters have their
friends from high status society they expect to manage their need according to
their status. They want me with them to involve in every activity. It is very
difficult to manage time for them after doing all household works.
In spite all these
husband always forced me to go to home at village frequently and support them
emotionally and financially. I am always in contact with them over phone but
according to my husband this is not enough.
--
Mrs. Baruah’s response : As I am a house
wife I have to do all the household work. Truly speaking we could not afford a
maid for help. Apart from this I teach my daughters, help them to complete home
work given by school. I have to manage my home.
My husband is only earner. He has a
shop in Guwahati. His responsibility is to provide all our necessities. He has
to look after his home at village also. He helped in the expenses of my parents
in law as they are ill as in old age. His only brother is not an earning
member.
My elder daughter wants to help me
in my daily works but I am not allowed her to do that. She has her own works of
study. Little daughter is not old enough to understand her role and
responsibilities.
a) Who takes decisions in the family with regard to: (Mention
the reason)
Socio-religious
aspects: All socio religious decision in our home taken by
me. When my parent in laws comes to our home at Guwahati, I am taking all such
decision with consultation to my mother in law. My parents in law and my
husband have no hard and fast rule in this concern. But mother in law wants
sometimes to impose some obsolete custom and rituals on me. I never oppose or
argue on this. Financial aspects: We
both husband and wife takes all financial decision together. My husband expends
lots of money unnecessarily. From this meager amount of money we have to
maintain all expenditure in this costlier city. As you know living cost in this
city is very high. School fees of kids increasing day by day.
Domestic/Household
related aspects: All most all the domestic/ household decision
taken by me. When I feel that any matter is to be discussed with my husband or
parents in law then only I asked them . No one has any objection on my decision
till date.
Education/Career
related aspects: Education or career related
decision for my children are taken by me only. My husband not took interest in
this matter. He fulfills anyhow our needs for this.
What do you keep in mind while taking decisions? Why are you not
involved in the decision making for other things?
-
Almost in all decision making I am
involved in my family. Domestic and career related decisions are taken by me
individually. While taking decisions I keep in my mind the progress of family
and no one can blame me for the decision. Except domestic and career decision,
in other decision I am not involved solely, I always used to take decision
after consultation with husband and parents in law.
4) a) Describe a situation where you or any other family member(s) have been able to communicate effectively within the family. Identify the reasons for the same.
-
My husband was heavy drinker in the influence of some friends. After my good
communications he changed his behavior and gradually quit the habit of alcohol
addiction. Now he is struggling to quit the habit of smoking also. He keeps
faith on me only for my good communication and my parents in law also influenced
by my success on stopping the alcohol addiction of him.
-
My brother in law is jobless. He is almost 35 years old unmarried man. He is
enjoying till date with my father in law’s pension. He is failure everywhere
due to his attitude and way of thinking. His friends are also unproductive in
nature. I had tried to settle him many times. But my all communication in this
concern is failed always. Probably he thought he has enough time in future to
do something and now I am communicating or teach him to save my money only;
what we are giving monthly to parents in law.
|
S.No. |
Relationship
and Age |
Power in
Decision Making |
Emotional
Support |
|
1. |
Husband
(46 years) |
3 |
5 |
|
2. |
Mrs.
Baruah (39 years) |
5 |
4 |
|
3. |
Elder
daughter (15 years) |
1 |
2 |
|
4 |
Younger daughter (08 years) |
1 |
1 |
6) Describe any crisis/disagreements among family members and
discuss the strategies used to resolve the same.
-
When we were shifted from my husband’s native village to Guwahati, all family
members except my husband disagreed with it. I was convinced my father in law
citing the cause of better education of children and addiction of my husband
due to friends. Otherwise we will lose my husband and their son. This emotional
communication worked. After all father in law agreed with me and convinced
others for this shifting.
-
My husband was suffering from liver cirrhosis five years back. In that
situation brother in law helped a lot in hospital. Without his help it was not
possible to get back my husband. My mother in law also supported at that time
staying at our home and looking after my kids. In that situation I experienced
very emotional.
-Through
this interview I am able to know that some families may be nuclear but they
have to attach as joint family. All role and responsibilities are like joint
family but they are living as nuclear family. In all relationships of the
respondent’s family all members were helping each other in crisis or need. They
were living as two family but relationships matters for them. Respondent knows
how to manage the family relationship.
In this entire interview I found Mrs. Baruah
very confident on her decisions. Although her parents in law living as separate
family, she is managing the family very well. She told clearly everything what
I want to know. I had seen one problem with her that she expects of doing as
she decided from all the family members. If her expectation not fulfill she
hurts. Her communication skill is very good and conflict resolution techniques
are effective. She keeps faith on religious beliefs and followed the rituals.
She is hard worker and always progressive. The interview was too good and I
have learned that members of nuclear family has to perform role and
responsibilities as joint family and without support of each other relationship
could not be maintained from one side. Due to decisive power of respondent all
members of family respect her.
REFLECTIONS:
I selected a nuclear family for the group 1 of
practical activity but I found the system of joint family living separately
within the family. Due to lockdown for pandemic COVID 19 we had done the
interview telephonically. Although emotion cannot be observed over phone yet I
got the necessary information to complete the objectives of the practical. At
first she was not interested to share information but when I appreciated her
works of husband’s de addiction she clearly told everything what I need for
this practical activity. If anybody valued the work done then they can build a
good rapport. The interview was completed in two sessions of almost 45 minutes
each.
I
had selected a woman headed single parent nuclear family for group 2, from an
outskirt area in city Guwahati. The respondent was a mother of two adult
children living in their own house. The lady Mrs. Hazarika, is an army widow, working
in a gas agency as clerk and we know each other by the transaction of LPG
cylinder and connections. I contacted her and told about my practical. I
assured her about the confidentiality of data and name of the respondent also
to change in practical report. She convinced and given time of Sunday evening
for telephonic conversation/interview. To make strong our rapport I shared some
data similar to her life and family. Then she opened to me to share what I need
for this practical activity. I had noted down point wise all information in my
diary what she told me as her story.
Background information:
Name of the respondent : Mrs. Hazarika
Age: 48 years
Sex: F (female)
Family Income: Rs. 28,000/- (per month)
Type of Family: woman headed single
parent nuclear family
Number of family members: Three
(including Mrs. Hazarika)
Their age and relationship to the
respondent :
Shri Kaushik Hazarika – 28 years
old – Son of respondent
Smt. Jeuti Hazarika – 25 Years old – Daughter of respondent.
1) With reference to each
family member, and yourself, list at least two personal-emotional and
physical-material needs.
(Noted down from Kaveri’s
response verbatim)
My
husband was expired due to illness in young age. After him my children miss him
a lot. I have to fulfill their all personal-emotional needs. Whenever they
became emotional I have to support them anyhow. In my emotional need I never
found any relatives. I have to adjust myself. My son not obeys me. It is very
tough to teach him. He is not working in 28 years also. He needs a job. But he
is not trying at all.
I am managing entire expenses of my home
through my little salary and my husband’s pension. It is not enough to meet the
requirement. I am suffering from diabetes and high blood pressure. My treatment
cost, cost of my son’s luxury, need of my daughter’s marriage expense gives
tension to me. I don’t know how I will manage all these. Any how children
completed their intermediate. They could not complete their graduation.
2) With reference to each family member, identify two roles they are playing and their corresponding responsibilities. State the same for yourself too.
I
am playing all role and responsibilities of both parents. I have to do
household works and office works both. My daughter started to work in a private
firm as receptionist. She helps me if she has time, but she is busy with her
works. My son has doing nothing as role and responsibilities to our family. He
is staying as guest in his own home. After expiry of my husband no relative
from my husband side kept touch with us. From my side all relatives are busy
with their life.
a) Who takes decisions in the family with regard to: (Mention
the reason)
Socio-religious
aspects: All socio religious decision in our home taken by me
and my daughter. My son has no any comment on socio-religious activity of our
family
Financial
aspects: We both mother and daughter takes all financial
decision together. Son only want to spend luxuriously. Because he thinks that I
have lots of money and he can spend lavishly.
Domestic/Household
related aspects: All most all the domestic/ household
decision taken by me. When I feel that any matter is to be discussed with my children
I tell them only. With many objection also my decision are always final the
family. Because they are immature to take any domestic or household decisions
Education/Career related aspects: Education or career related decision for my children are taken by themselves. I fulfill anyhow their needs for their education or career. Because they are like to live in their own style or pattern.
b) What is your role in decision making and which decisions do you take?
What do you keep in mind while taking decisions? Why are you not
involved in the decision making for other things?
Decision
making power is always with me in my family except their career and education.
I am not involved with their education and career related decision because I
had destroyed lots of money what I got from govt. after death of my husband. I
sent my children to costlier and good school/college but they made some other
habits and could not progress after intermediate. My husband and my dream was
not fulfill at all. Therefore I am not involving with such decisions. When I
take any decision I always keep in mind that my decision should not wrong and
it is always beneficial for my family.
4) a) Describe a situation where you or any other family member(s) have been able to communicate effectively within the family. Identify the reasons for the same.
My
communication was effective when my daughter was in love with a boy who has no
job. I was able to make understand my daughter not to marry with him. My
communication was effective because she is emotional and she always involved
with my all activities. I told her as a friend about that boy and his family.
Communications
with my son is always failed. He drinks a lot and spending lots of money in
unnecessary luxury. Whenever I want to speak with him he became aggressive. I
think these are his friend’s influence. He thinks that I have lots of money and
property and he has to spend. Actually since childhood I kept him very strict
family environment and when he went to hostel for study he felt free to do
everything. Therefore my communication is not effective with him.
|
S.No. |
Relationship
and Age |
Power in
Decision Making |
Emotional
Support |
|
1. |
Mrs.
Hazarika (48 years) |
5 |
5 |
|
2. |
Elder
Son ( 28 years) |
1 |
1 |
|
3. |
Younger daughter ( 25 years) |
1 |
3 |
My husband was died when my kids were little.
I sent my son to Bangalore to study in class 11th and he become
addicted with ganja and alcohol. He waste lots of money there and after too
much hard work I brought him returned to Guwahati. At that time when I was busy
with him my daughter also fall in love with a bad boy. My family was almost
going to broken down. I was handled with patients and care. First I communicate
with my daughter and my daughter somehow able to handle her elder brother. My
son not obey me, hence I was applied the strategies to engage his sister
emotionally in that crisis situation of family.
When I was almost going to depression
after seeing my son in such a addicted situation and he got bike accident my
daughter support me emotionally and she managed my calling her uncle and
relatives. Emotionally she was supported me and due to her positive thoughts I
was able to recover from that grief.
In this woman headed, single parent, nuclear
family Mrs. Hazarika perform her role as both parents but she was done some
mistakes unknowingly or under influence of situations. She kept her son in a
strict family environment and suddenly gave him all freedom in a metropolitan
city. Due to emotional condition she never taught him the value of money. She
thought that if they feel crisis of money in childhood then they would miss
their father a lot. Therefore, he wants to spend luxuriously. She managed her
family but not satisfied by herself.
During
interview with Mrs. Hazarika I got the information what I need for this practicum.
Mrs. Hazarika was depressed a lot for her son, but her daughter helped to
overcome from the sorrows. After losing her husband she tried her level best to
make children as good and established human being but she is not satisfied with
her family grown up. She works hard in office and home both to manage her
family but not able to get the results as she wish. In this whole process of
practical, I am able to understand the woman headed, single parent family
existing in the society and able to differentiate between the needs of various
members along with their roles and relationships. It is very important for
family therapist to know the different family structures and their varied
characteristics for practicing family therapy.
At
first she was not agree to share the information of her family. When she understands
that this discussion may be beneficial to her son also, she agreed to share the
information what I need. In this interview honestly speaking for a little time
I was judgmental on respondent. But after some time I understand the situation of
women like her who lost husband in young age and have to manage everything by
her alone. The whole interview process
was beneficial to me to understand this type of family and its need, role,
responsibilities of each family member. The whole process took more than one hour.
I noted down the information given by her. I thanked her and leave her over
phone.
a) Family
composition (Structure and number of members)
Similarities: Both families
are living in urban areas as nuclear family with 3 and four members only.
Both families are not belonging
to higher class. Almost both families were women headed. In both families two
children are present.
Differences: In group I
family husband is present to support but in group 2, husband was died. In both
families two children are present but in group 2 children are adult and enough
matured to help their mother.
Similarities: In both families
respondent is decision maker and both were women. The role and responsibilities
are well defined in both families.
Similarities: Well divided the
labour as their gender in both family but in group 2 son of the respondent is
functionless in family.
Differences: In group 1 the
respondent has to do the household work and has to manage the family but not to
take pain for income money, but in group 2 labour as both genders to be done by
respondent.
Similarities: Daughters are the
similarities as socio-emotional resources for both respondents. The material
resources also well managed by their service and business in both families.
As single parent families are mainly
headed by women, they are also referred to as women headed households. It is
important to understand the difference between the two terms, that is, single
parent families and woman headed households. Single parent families imply the
absence of either parent due to the various reasons, but a woman headed household
on the other hand generally refers to those families where women are heads of
the families by virtue of their main earner status. The woman's role as the
economic provider regardless of the presence or absence of the male at home is
central to the definition of a woman headed household. In group 2 family I
found that the family was single parent women headed nuclear family in true
sense.
Among the diversity of families the
basic needs like socio-emotional and material needs are same. Some of them want
more and some want less. Thus we can conclude this practicum activity by
successfully meeting the objectives of the practical.
